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Raising My Vibe

I’m brittle today. I’m introspective and want isolation.

I also have to go to dinner tonight to celebrate a friend’s anniversary, which I can’t reschedule since they are visiting from out of town. But this is not a time to schlep into the restaurant with the heaviness of being brittle. This is the time for me to celebrate their happiness, which means I need to raise my vibe so I can enjoy this dinner as best as I can.

Here’s why I’m brittle:

A picture of our property after the fire burned away our house.

Our little place of peace along the river burned to the ground ten months ago. Fire took all the trees along the river banks with burning gulps and left behind flattened land filled with pieces of heirlooms, precious albums, and art.

Since that time, I’ve practiced all I know spiritually to stay resilient and hopeful. We always thought we would rebuild. But now, I know that my hopes and intentions were for naught, and I must move on. Help from our insurance company has not been there, and behaviors from their staff have been incredibly surreal. Even our local advocate admits this is a new low in customer responsiveness.

The grief of losing the house by fire is nothing to the grief of knowing that a firm supported by our premiums for forty years is really uninterested in serving. They are overwhelmed with so many asking to be served. They don’t like being pushed by our advocate. They are lashing out.

We are in a battle, like it or not.

The grief from the loss of the fire is nothing compared to the grief that we were unable to get the support to rebuild. It’s what my dad would call a “double whammy.”

Even more painful is knowing that many who lost their homes in the same wildfire will not see their primary homes rebuilt, and will leave the town they have always known for places of which they are unfamiliar.

My body and my heart are reeling, and therefore, I am looking for ways to be outwardly present while knowing how inwardly brittle I am.

My vibes are pretty thin and feel as though they could twang if I tweaked the tightness of their bandwidth around my body.

No doubt about it. It’s time for a vibe raising day.

So how on earth do I get from brittle to gracious and warm? It’s on me. I know a lot about energy. Today I get to strut my stuff, to myself, to my husband, and eventually to our friends.

Here’s how I will make this a Vibe Raising Day!

I will recognize the help from the cosmos. Today is a full moon day. The sun is shining fully on the moon, creating that vibrancy that results in beloved songs touting the magic of the moon’s influence in our water filled bodies. I already know I’m geared for great things to happen today, knowing the lunar orb floating above has my back.

I will show respect and honor to my body. I will walk in the morning sunshine. I will pick up my kettle bell and work the area around my heart (arms, chest, and back.) I will work my core, where my personal power lies. Already I am beginning to see that my body would like very much for me to believe in myself and my vibe-raising capability.

I will believe in myself. I will trust my ability to create a great life without reliance on an outside corporation to help. I am capable of releasing a place I love to another owner who will see it as their own paradise.

I will reach out to people in my life that inspire me, who automatically raise my vibe. I will call a friend who always inspires me as I drive to the farmer’s market to see Conner. Conner and his family have a farm that produces wonderful live food, including Jimmy Darnello peppers, which I call Jimmy Johns. Those peppers are super sweet and so is Conner. I admire Conner because his energy field is broad and swimming with all the right vibes. I’m eager to bathe in them and perhaps grab some for the ride home.

I will do what I love. I will write the next chapter of my book, because the subject matter excites me and reminds me of the truths I’m incorporating in my approach to life..

I will set a positive and truthful intention. I will remind myself that the friends we are meeting tonight are the friends who came with us on the day in Tempe, Arizona, when I met my grown daughter for the first time. They remember that I was a basket case in the days leading up to that meeting, because I was filled with fear of rejection. My emotions leading up to that day was being ‘brittle on steroids.’

I will be grateful. I will remind myself that their support kept me solid and present during that luncheon in Tempe. Now I’m filled with joy at being a mother, a grandmother, and a great grandmother to some of the most beautiful people in my life. I will remind myself all day of what treasures I have in my life, every day, and all day.

I will accept myself and celebrate my beliefs. I will remind myself that my sadness is real, deserves to exist, but is as impermanent as the property by the river turned out to be.

Most of all, I will remind myself that the Universe is always working in our favor, and loss is the opening to something even better.

Phew! This plan is working for me. I’m picking up good vibrations. I’m a believer. I’m ready for the day, and a lovely dinner.

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